They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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