quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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