i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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