1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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