I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
