so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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