If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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