HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize