well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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