you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
