He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
