did you get engaged???
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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