I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you inspire me to be a worse person
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
