Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
