I love black thongs
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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