Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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