We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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