I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
