He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
