how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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