So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You did what with his pubic hair?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
