So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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