That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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