you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize