Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i out mim tonsoeep
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