I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
