Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
