Got a toothbrush?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
