I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just gift wrapped bread.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
