am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
