Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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