Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
