I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.