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I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
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