Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be