Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.