How drunk are you??
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale