too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
