Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
