Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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