The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i came on her dog
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
