what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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