If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm always down for nudity.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
