Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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