Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
