Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
