6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
