i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
