now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
