Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
