This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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