I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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