I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
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We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
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My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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