Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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