i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
