Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
