i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
