he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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