We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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