I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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