It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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