So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
