you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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