oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
