I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
